Empowering Today’s Teens: Building confidence in a world of comparison and self-doubt

The teenage years are often marked by rapid growth, exploration, and a search for identity. Yet, in today’s digital age, teenagers face challenges previous generations never encountered: constant comparison, exposure to unattainable beauty standards, and an intense pressure to fit in. A large survey of Australian teenagers found that 46%  did not feel confident or secure in themselves, while 54% were worried about not fitting in, and nearly half were unhappy with the way they look (Waters, 2011). This environment can lead to self-doubt, low self-worth, and a longing for belongingness.

Let’s look at these key challenges and explore practical ways that we can support teens in building lasting self-confidence and self-worth.

Key Issues Teens Face Today

1. Constant Comparison on Social Media

Social media can be a great way to connect but can also create unrealistic portrayals of “perfect lives.” Teens often compare themselves to curated images and feel like they fall short. Today, 95% of teenagers over 13yrs old have access to a smartphone, and nearly  90% use social media daily, with platforms like Instagram, TikTok, and Snapchat taking centre stage. These platforms are highly visual, emphasizing appearance and lifestyle, which can lead teens to compare themselves to the carefully curated, often idealised portrayals of others’ lives.

• Statistic: Research from the American Psychological Association suggests that up to 45% of teens feel “overwhelmed” by social media, with many reporting negative effects on their self-esteem.
• Impact: Constant exposure to “highlight reels” can distort reality, making teens feel their own lives are less exciting or fulfilling, often resulting in feelings of inadequacy.
• Intervention needs: Creating boundaries may be one thing, but helping teenagers build a healthy sense of self-esteem, personal confidence and seeing their own uniqueness is critical to self-formation.

2. Unattainable Beauty Standards

With filters, editing apps, and influencers often displaying edited images, today’s teens encounter beauty standards that are difficult—if not impossible—to attain. The beauty ideals portrayed on social media are heavily edited, with filters and apps that enhance features to meet an unrealistic standard. As a result, body dissatisfaction has become a significant issue for teens.

• Statistic: A 2023 study by the Dove Self-Esteem Project found that nearly 70% of girls felt pressured to look a certain way, with over 50% admitting they use filters or edit their photos to appear more attractive. One in three boys under 18yrs old wish they looked differently and worried about what people thought of them.
• Impact: The continuous pursuit of unattainable beauty standards can lead to reduced self-esteem, dissatisfaction, eating disorders and more major issues like body dysmorphia.
• Intervention needs: Helping teenagers learn to love themselves and their uniqueness is critical. Helping students see that beauty is not a one-sized-fits-all and that inner beauty is a worthy pursuit will go a long way to building more self-satisfaction and acceptance.

3. Feelings of Inadequacy and Self-Doubt

We thought the era of self-doubt was the 1990’s, but more than ever, today’s teens feel like they’re not “enough” and struggle with feelings of inadequacy. The pressure to excel academically, athletically, and socially can result in self-doubt, and with globalisation and access to the whole world at your fingertips, they aren’t just comparing to the local hero’s – they are viewing worlds-best as the benchmark. Many teens feel pressured to excel in multiple areas to gain social acceptance or secure a promising future, which can be overwhelming.

• Statistic: According to the National Institute of Mental Health, approximately 32% of teens report high levels of stress related to school performance, and 20% struggle with anxiety symptoms due to these pressures.
• Impact: These pressures create a mindset where teens feel they are “never enough,” driving self-doubt and even contributing to mental health concerns like anxiety and depression.
• Intervention needs: Becoming your own best-self is the goal. You cannot compare apples and oranges – each person has been given a unique set of skills, talents, cognitive abilities. We want to maximise these, do our best with what we’ve got and realise our reward for effort. But focus on being your best self, and see where that takes you.

4. Desire for Social Belongingness

For teens, finding a sense of belonging is crucial as they begin to establish their identities outside of family structures. Teens want to be accepted by their peers, which can sometimes lead to compromising their values or interests to fit in. Social groups, friends, and online communities provide a sense of connection but can also lead to a fear of rejection or exclusion.

• Statistic: A survey by Common Sense Media found that over 50% of teens feel excluded at times on social media, with 35% reporting that this exclusion significantly affects their self-esteem.  Two-thirds have experienced friendship fallout or relationship breakdown which has led to feeling rejected or misplaced.
• Impact: The desire to belong can sometimes pressure teens into compromising their values or adopting behaviors just to “fit in.” This struggle for acceptance can fuel stress, and social anxiety, and diminish their ability to celebrate their unique qualities.
• Intervention needs: Resilience has been a huge topic for the past 15 years and many say that fad of resilience-raising has passed. However, more than ever, younger teens need to build the skills in facing their challenges and learning to overcome. They need tools in how to express their feelings or disappointment, to interact face-t0-face and to even learn how to forgive and mend relationships. These skills will take them a long way in their adults lives, and they learn them now.

Tips to build confidence and self-worth in adolescents

Encourage Self-Reflection Instead of Comparison

Tip: Teach teens to use social media mindfully. Encourage them to focus on their own progress rather than comparing themselves to others. Reflection exercises, such as journaling about personal goals and achievements, can help teens see their growth and strengths. MyStrengths is passionate about this, and developed the MyFuture program and journal to train in self-determination and mastery.

Promote a Healthy View of Beauty and Strengths

Tip: There is some wonderful PDH-PE content and other program initiatives that help students talk openly about the editing and filtering that goes into images they see online. Highlight diverse role models who embrace authenticity and uniqueness over perfection. This can help teens appreciate their own natural qualities and focus on inner strengths.

Foster Growth Mindset to develop resilience 

Tip: Remind teens that setbacks and challenges are part of growth. Praise their effort, determination, and learning rather than focusing solely on outcomes. This can help reduce feelings of inadequacy and boost confidence by seeing each experience as a step toward personal growth.

Support Positive Social Connections and Belonging

Tip: Help teens identify friends who uplift them and encourage authenticity. Involvement in sport, hobbies, youth groups and activities where they feel accepted and valued can also support their need for belonging without the pressure to conform.

Teach the Power of Self-Care and Boundaries

Tip: Encourage teens to prioritise self-care activities that make them feel good, like exercise, creative hobbies, or downtime. Emphasise the need to set boundaries with digital media to protect their mental and emotional wellbeing, but don’t just leave them to master it alone – work with them together on setting boundaries as they still need adults to be involved.

Navigating the challenges of adolescence in today’s world can be overwhelming, but with the right tools and support, teens can build self-worth and confidence. By shifting the focus from comparison to personal growth, helping them find belonging in healthy spaces, and reinforcing positive self-care, we can empower the next generation to thrive with resilience and authenticity.

Dan Hardie is a Teen Counsellor and the founder of MyStrengths. MyStrengths is focused on building healthy self-esteem, confidence and self-love. In the past 5 years, over 100,000 students have discovered their unique strengths & beauty through MyStrengths High School Programs.

Sources

• https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/fact-sheet/teens-and-social-media-fact-sheet/
• https://www.sentiment.io/how-many-teens-use-social-media/
• https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2022/08/social-media-internet-online-teenagers-screens-us/

• Tucci, J., Mitchell, J., & Goddard, C. (2007). Children’s Fears, hopes and heroes: Modern childhood in Australia.

• Waters, L. (2011). A Review of School-Based Positive Psychology Interventions. The Australian Educational and Developmental Psychologist, 28(2), 75–90.