RUOK is great. But there’s a better question we should be asking.

Each September, RUOK Day arrives with an important message: check in with the people around you. Ask the question that might just save a life. For more than a decade, the campaign has reminded Australians that a simple conversation can make a world of difference.

And it works. Stories abound of people who felt seen, heard, and supported because someone asked, “Are you okay?”

But I believe there is a better question we should be asking.

The Problem With Focusing on Mental Ill-Health and Problems

In our efforts to tackle mental health challenges, we’ve unintentionally built a culture that is relentlessly focused on what’s wrong. We ask people to share their struggles, to name their anxiety, to confess when they’re not coping. This is vital—but it’s not the full story.

Young people, in particular, are growing up in a deficit-focused world. From their earliest years, they’re measured on gaps in their learning, told where they fall short, and compared against perfectionist standards they often can’t reach. Add to that a mental health culture that primarily asks about their pain, any struggle or stress, and it’s no wonder so many feel overwhelmed by a constant sense of not being enough.

Yes, it matters to ask if someone is okay. But if that’s the only question we’re asking, we’re missing half the picture.

What If We Asked a Better Question?

Imagine a national day that didn’t just ask “Are you okay?” but also asked “Are you thriving?”

A day that invites us to notice not just our wounds, but our strengths. To celebrate not just our survival, but our flourishing. I want to see a society filled with young people who are focused on not just surviving, but thriving.

“I want to see a society filled with young people who are not just surviving, but thriving”

What would happen if schools, workplaces, and communities gathered around questions like these:

• What are your natural inborn talents, abilities and strengths?

• Where are you at your best?

• What energises you and brings you to life?

• How do you activate your strengths and make a difference to others?

• What does it look like when you are flourishing?

Instead of only spotlighting problems, we’d create a culture that shines a light on potential.

The Science of Strengths

Positive psychology research is clear: people don’t grow most when they focus on fixing weaknesses. They grow most when they discover, develop, and activate their strengths.

Studies show that young people who can name and use their strengths are more engaged in school, report higher self-esteem, and demonstrate greater resilience. They bounce back faster from setbacks and are more likely to contribute positively to their communities.

In other words, helping people see what’s right with them is one of the most powerful protective factors against what’s wrong.

From Deficit to Discovery

At MyStrengths, we work with thousands of teenagers across Australia, guiding them through the process of identifying their natural strengths. For many, it’s the first time in their life someone has said: “This is what’s great about you. You are unique and amazing. Let’s explore how you can live your best life.”

I’ll never forget a Year 9 student who, after seeing her Top 5 MyStrengths profile, said confidently: “I thought I was just bossy. But now I see that I’m a leader.” That reframe—seeing her drive not as a flaw to suppress, but as a strength to channel—was life-changing.

Moments like that spark something deep. They build confidence, resilience, and hope. They create a vision of a future where young people don’t just endure, but thrive.

RUthriving

So here’s my idea: let’s create a new campaign alongside RUOK. Let’s call it RUthriving.

On RUthriving Day, the focus wouldn’t be on problems but on possibilities. Every conversation would start with:

• “Tell me about a time this week you felt most alive.”

• “What strength do you want to bring to the world today?”

• “Where are you flourishing right now?”

Schools could run RUthriving workshops. Workplaces could invite staff to share strengths stories. Families could gather around the dinner table and ask each other not just “How was your day?” but “When were you at your best today?”

This doesn’t replace RUOK. It complements it. Together, they form two halves of a healthier whole: one that acknowledges pain but also celebrates possibility.

A Call to Schools and Leaders

If you’re an educator, parent, or leader, here’s my challenge: don’t wait for someone else to launch the campaign. Start today. Begin asking your students, colleagues, or children: “RUthriving?”

And if you’d like to take it further, MyStrengths would love to help your school make strengths a focus point. We have a comprehensive framework that guides your students to discover their strengths, build confidence, and step into their best selves.

Because when we move from “what’s wrong” to “what’s strong,” we don’t just change conversations—we change lives.

So let me ask you, and invite you to ask your students:

RUthriving?

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